The Good Stuff

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    Charge The Guns

    Sometimes you need the good stuff, and only the good stuff will do. Not the old good stuff. The new good stuff. Well there I was on a Monday, needing the good stuff. I checked my usual contacts. Nothing. No one had the good stuff. Strange. They all said the same thing. “We’ll have it any day now. Pre-order away buddy.” I’ve been around the block a few times. I know the score. I’ve heard that line before. Pre-order? Yeh, right.

    So, the usual guys didn’t have the good stuff. I put the word out. I called in favours. Old favours. Big favours. Small, casual favours. All sorts of favours. “I need the good stuff” was the word on the street. The street takes its time. I’d have to wait. Sure enough I got the call on Wednesday. The phone shook on my desk. I couldn’t take the call there. Too many ears. This was the good stuff we were talking about! I went to a place where I knew the phone was clean. I called the number.

    “Hello, Nottingham Painter’s Help Line, Paul Fowler-Smith speaking.” It wasn’t a real name. I knew the score. “Don’t tell me how to lose men, I’ve lost thousands!” I replied. That was the code; my code. “Oh, it’s you. We didn’t think you were still operating. Well, check your Twitter feed, hash-tag Robin Hood”. The phone went dead.

    I checked the Twitter and there it was. Robin Hood and the main man (not the new main man, the old main man). They were standing in the shop. What they were doing wasn’t important. That would be too obvious. This is when you’re training kicks in. It can be the littlest detail. You just have to know what to look for. I studied the picture. I was getting desperate. I don’t mind saying it. That can cloud your judgement. But I saw it at last. Down there on the floor of the shop. A whole rack. Upfront and kosher. The little bottles unmistakable; Humbrol Acrylics it said on the rack.

    Sometimes that is the best place to hide something. In plain sight. So, I knew where the good stuff was. They were obviously using this Hood guy to bring in the new good stuff. A great cover. Who would suspect a guy in green tights? So they have it in the shop. How to get it? The shop is a sort of cover. The main operation is out the back. Anyway, if I was seen in a shop, the word would be out. Best to deal with the main operation. Less risk that way.

    I dialled up the main operation. Surely search would be too easy? Plain sight. Humbrol Matt 29, Dark Earth. The good stuff. Well I had to call in some more favours. A pal of mine. The pay pal they call him. He deals with the main operation. Always safer to use a go between. More difficult to trace you that way.

    Just heard back from the pal. The good stuff is as good as mine. Just have to wait now. It’s a crazy world, and you’ve got to know how to operate. You’ve got to know the score.

    So, you be careful out there now you know the score. If you want the good stuff, just say that Paul Fowler-Smith sent you.

    Stephen Casement

    Excellent, very well put together, could be the script for a great movie and hopefully you now have the good stuff in hand!

    Charge The Guns

    Thanks Stephen! The Good Stuff does have a certain ring to it as a movie title 😀.

    Still waiting for the package …

    Charge The Guns

    All good things …

    My morning coffee was still steaming on the desk with the noises of city going to work around me. The calm is interrupted by a rap at the door. Who knocks on a guy’s door before 10 in the morning? I see a uniform through the glass of the door and instinctively flick off the safety. I open the door just a crack. “Package!” It’s the package guy. I return with the brown package to my coffee. Could this be the good stuff? Not the old good stuff, but the new good stuff. The package is sealed pretty good. Anonymous brown cardboard. That suits me.

    I draw the blinds and switch on the light. I take the phone off the hook and lock the door. Now the coast is clear I gently slit the tape and open the box. There it is. But wait. What’s this? 30% extra free! Days just don’t start better than this.

    Dr Dave

    How pure is it?

    Has it been cut with any of that Revell acrylic stuff?

    Charge The Guns

    Hi Dr. Dave,

    I’m glad to confirm that, after a double blind taste test, it is indeed 100% the new good stuff.

    I’m going to be at Warlord’s operation on Saturday; undercover naturally. I’m intending to check out how easy it is to walk in and just buy ‘the new good stuff’ from the front of house. I think Warlord may be on to something big. Real big.


    The real question is: is the new good stuff as good as the good ol’ stuff or is the new good stuff better than the good ol’ stuff ? Which would make it the new even better stuff.

    Charge The Guns

    Well, of course, the new good stuff is never going to be as good as the old good stuff (some times called the good ol’ stuff in certain parts of town) that’s what made it such good, good stuff originally.

    The old good stuff is far too valuable to actually use now, unless it was an emergency, or something. My personal stocks of the old good stuff are kept in a secure Aberystwyth, if you get my drift. It’s too easily detected using modern methods to keep it anywhere you hang out.

    I’m expecting the place to be busy on Saturday as there’s some big shindig on. A great cover to allow you to slip in unnoticed, and pick up some of the new good stuff. Remember, “Paul Fowler-Smith” sent you.

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